This weekend was college football’s rivalry week, and tensions ran high. Brawls broke out after three games—all sparked by the winning teams attempting to plant their flags on the losing teams’ midfield logos.

Why does this happen?

Winners think: “We earned the right to disrespect you.”

Losers think: “You don’t.”

Sports often foster judgments—about skills and performance on that day. But those judgments are not about who you are. The emotions from a win or loss are fleeting.

As one college football player I work with explained:
“It’s harder to handle when they just shake hands and act like it’s no big deal—like they’ve been there before.”

That kind of response requires real self-confidence: the ability to accept how you feel without making it more than it is.

When I’ve worked with athletes competing against close friends in championship games, I know they’ll need help processing their emotions afterward. I may not always know exactly what to say, but I do know what I won’t say:
“I like you more now that you won.”
“I like you less because you lost.”

Let’s change the conversation around mental fitness. I’d love to partner with you to help athletes challenge these myths and build resilience. Reach out to book a keynote or training for your team—we can make a real difference, together.